Br. Nicholas expressed an excellent point in this video - which can be summed up in the KISS principle. We'll go with the nicer version, and say that it means Keep It Short and Simple. And the short and simple of it is, what works? Do that.
In looking at our relationships and our interactions with others, look at what has worked best for you in the past, what has made you feel good and achieved what you want to achieve. In most instances, it's a fairly simple solution.
I have a friend whose very first response to absolutely everything is "No." I'm not sure if that's her method of keeping things simple, but it has led to no small amount of frustration on my part, because sometimes, what I'm asking is - at least to me - a very easy, logical, simple request. But, I have learned that if I accept her no, and then give her a day, she thinks about it, processes it through both her brain and her huge heart, within a day, she's altered her answer. Now, the answer may still be no, but this time, she'll have a logical argument against whatever it is. More times than not, however, the answer is either an unqualified yes, or a qualified yes, and again, she'll have very logical and sound reasoning. So the lesson for me in this KISS process is, don't get frustrated, just wait a day.
Part of this can also be explained through personality "types". The one I learned is called PACE, and essentially they divide how people think and react into colors: red (big picture, bottom line, very dynamic), blue (emotional, heart motivated), yellow (all the details, down to the very last one, very organized), and green (everything is about why). Now, the world needs all of those colors, but in learning about someone, you learn how to communicate. If you have a yellow person who has to talk to a red person, they're going to get really frustrated, really fast - particularly if they don't know how the other communicates. If the yellow person is aware they're talking to a red person, they have to bite their tongue about all the details, and give an overview and the expected result - then stop. Really hard to do, but the red person then has as much information as they need and want - because they actually trust that the yellow person knows and has done their job in all the details that they can't stand - to make a decision.
Think about your relationships with others. What makes you thrive? What feeds your soul? What nurtures you and helps you grow?
Do that.
I have a friend whose very first response to absolutely everything is "No." I'm not sure if that's her method of keeping things simple, but it has led to no small amount of frustration on my part, because sometimes, what I'm asking is - at least to me - a very easy, logical, simple request. But, I have learned that if I accept her no, and then give her a day, she thinks about it, processes it through both her brain and her huge heart, within a day, she's altered her answer. Now, the answer may still be no, but this time, she'll have a logical argument against whatever it is. More times than not, however, the answer is either an unqualified yes, or a qualified yes, and again, she'll have very logical and sound reasoning. So the lesson for me in this KISS process is, don't get frustrated, just wait a day.
Part of this can also be explained through personality "types". The one I learned is called PACE, and essentially they divide how people think and react into colors: red (big picture, bottom line, very dynamic), blue (emotional, heart motivated), yellow (all the details, down to the very last one, very organized), and green (everything is about why). Now, the world needs all of those colors, but in learning about someone, you learn how to communicate. If you have a yellow person who has to talk to a red person, they're going to get really frustrated, really fast - particularly if they don't know how the other communicates. If the yellow person is aware they're talking to a red person, they have to bite their tongue about all the details, and give an overview and the expected result - then stop. Really hard to do, but the red person then has as much information as they need and want - because they actually trust that the yellow person knows and has done their job in all the details that they can't stand - to make a decision.
Think about your relationships with others. What makes you thrive? What feeds your soul? What nurtures you and helps you grow?
Do that.
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