Both of the answers may lie within the concept that the only person we can change is ourselves. Someone said, there can be no change without a significant emotional event. That might depend on your definition of significant, and how motivated you are to change. Perhaps you don't like feeling anger, and that's motivation enough to find another way of looking at a situation, and allowing yourself to give both your anger and your other feelings about the situation to God, where He might find the proper justice, balance and lessons for everyone involved. That collaboration, of looking at what you can do to provide the attitude adjustment (preferably before God does) to yourself, and requesting Divine intervention for the rest - and then letting go of whatever was preventing you from forgiving or allowing yourself to receive forgiveness, can be a very productive and soul-lightening journey.
Has your thinking about the conflict changed how you think about the situation? (It may; it may not.) Can you ask for God's help in resolving or showing a way to resolve the conflict? Are you open to the conflict ending, or have you tied so much of your own anger and hurt into it that you actually don't want to end the conflict?
Soul-searching - not an easy process, but definitely one worth doing.