Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Collaboration of Forgiveness

Today's video addresses a topic that's often times tough for us to face:  how do we find it in ourselves to forgive, especially when you see no evidence of remorse on the part of the one you're thinking about?  And how do we truly ask for forgiveness if we're so busy judging the actions of another?

Both of the answers may lie within the concept that the only person we can change is ourselves.  Someone said, there can be no change without a significant emotional event.  That might depend on your definition of significant, and how motivated you are to change.  Perhaps you don't like feeling anger, and that's motivation enough to find another way of looking at a situation, and allowing yourself to give both your anger and your other feelings about the situation to God, where He might find the proper justice, balance and lessons for everyone involved.  That collaboration, of looking at what you can do to provide the attitude adjustment (preferably before God does) to yourself, and requesting Divine intervention for the rest - and then letting go of whatever was preventing you from forgiving or allowing yourself to receive forgiveness, can be a very productive and soul-lightening journey. 

So today, pick a conflict in which you're involved - it can be with a family, friend, neighbor, coworker - and focus on your part in that conflict.  What have you done to further the conflict, or make it worse?  What could you have done differently?  Can you envision another outcome or another direction if you had chosen to do something differently?  Move your pride out of the way and look at the whole situation.  What would the best outcome be from where you are now?  Can you take responsibility for your part of the conflict?  (Taking responsibility for someone else's part in a conflict does not do you or the other person any good, and can in the long-run do a disservice to the person who needs to deal with their own responsibilities - but that's their issue, and not for you to deal with.  You can assist them, if they ask.)  Can you ask for forgiveness, honestly, from the person for those things you have done wrong? 

Has your thinking about the conflict changed how you think about the situation?  (It may; it may not.)  Can you ask for God's help in resolving or showing a way to resolve the conflict?  Are you open to the conflict ending, or have you tied so much of your own anger and hurt into it that you actually don't want to end the conflict?

Soul-searching - not an easy process, but definitely one worth doing.

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